i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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