dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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