it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
