Me too!
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
