There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
