I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
