my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
