I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize