I wish i was in the wii world.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
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