Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
