Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
