They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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