Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize