with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
