# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
