I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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