1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
