Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
