I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Randomize
