Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
