The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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