Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Randomize
