Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
