soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
