Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
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