Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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