Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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