So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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