East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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