woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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