If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
