just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
