New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
