You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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