I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
