Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
