Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Randomize
