I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
