I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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