This dress was meant to end up on your floor
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
She needs sedatives and a leash
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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