I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
