I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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