highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
