u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
