how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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