that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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