My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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