Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
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