Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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