I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
