you guys were way drunker than both of me
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
We had sex on a dog bed..
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
