so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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