So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
