The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
