A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I am midnight drunk by noon
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize