the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
