A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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