hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize