I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Randomize
