Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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