If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
