You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
