well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize