I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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